L O V E
by EmilyElizabeth123
Summary: Lorraine/Nikki. I ship these two so hard and have finally started to write one. Please review on my first chap and tell me if you like it or not, all will be taken into account. *Inserts summary here* I don't have a summary, just read it and enjoy :)
1. One

_This fanfic is about Lorraine & Nikki, the love affair. I have fallen head over heels in love with them, I ship them so damn hard! Fic may involve scenes of a sexual nature and what not so if you're uncomfortable with two girls being in a relationship or two girls kissing etc then either get some sense into your brain or don't read further :))), Lots of love, Emily ox_

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Lorraine arrived at Waterloo Road, she sighed to herself as she stepped out the car.

"Another day in paradise then." She said as she bent down to pick up her bag with her iPhone in one hand making it all the more difficult to grip her bag, she resorted to lifting her leg up in the air just to reach her bag. "Finally!" She wriggled her way out the car & shut the door, almost forgetting to lock her car as she walked off. "For gods sake Lorraine, where is your head at?!" She again sighed to herself, swung round to lock her car then swung back again.

She had a late night last night, she received some bad news about her dad, she never saw him, he was always too busy with his dogs or his work to even bother with her, just like her mum, she had forgotten she had another daughter, always calling Sonya, Lorraine but still not knowing who Lorraine really was. The news about her father though, she heard that he was in hospital after a scaffolding fell on him whilst he was working on a building, he was a builder but Lorraine had always told him to be careful but seeing now he's ended up in hospital, its clear that he didn't even pay one bit of attention to her.

She bumped and banged her way into her office plonking her ass on the seat and sighing again as her head hit the table, her long blonde hair falling on her face.

"Everything okay?" Michael asked making Lorraine jump.

"Oh for fu-" Lorraine stopped her self from cursing as she looked up.

"Rough night?"

"You could say that, yeah"

"Well don't forget you have to work in the PRU today with Nikki"

"Oh damn, I did forget, well, that just takes the biscuit!" Lorraine said as she heaved herself up from the chair, grabbing her bag and phone and made her way out of the office, she lost count of how many times she sighed today and it wasn't even 9am, but before she could even escape her sister was calling her from the desk.

"Lorraine!" Sonya shouted in her squeaky voice.

"What?" Lorraine spun round looking at her sister walking up to her.

"Have you heard about Dad?"

Just as she heard that she wanted to leave straight away.

"Yes, I have and no, I'm not gonna see him, he's a waste of space, always has been, ever since we were kids, he never looked after us, was never there for us, he didn't even come home most nights, he left her crying so no, stop the guilt trip, if you wanna go, go, I'm not stopping you" Just as Lorraine got that mouthful out she felt her stomach churn. "Oh come on!" She cried whilst running out to the toile before Sonya could even give her an answer.

She ran to the toilet and puked up in the bowl and once again, she sighed.

"Tell me again, why did you go out last night and get hammered?" Lorraine spoke to herself. "Oh, talking to yourself now Lorraine, thats the first sign of going insane"

She left the toilet, wiped herself down and walked to the PRU to be greeted by Nikki.

"Nice of you to join us" Nikki smiled at Lorraine who just looked blanky at her.

"Yeah, don't talk to me like I'm one of the students, been there, done that, never again" Lorraine pushed past Nikki, dropped her stuff of behind the desk and started talking to the pupils.

"Oh, right then.." Nikki looked puzzled and closed the door. She couldn't even think of a reason to what she even saw Lorraine, well, she could, yes, she can be bossy and moody but if she looked into her eyes long enough she could see that behind all them smiles she puts on her face, she was a girl who needed someone. Her striking figure and long blonde hair, her fashion sense and all her gadgets. She didn't care that she was rich all she wanted to her was hold Lorraine whilst they slept, brush away her tears when she cried and hug her for as long she needed a hug, she wished that more than anything but she knew that Lorraine would never feel that way about Nikki, not ever.

Nikki walked up to Lorraine who had now moved to her a table on her own and was sat looking down at her phone, she had a messgae from Sonya to, in her exact words *_get your ass back up here now and talk to me!_*, She couldn't even face going back up there to talk to her, she didn't want a lecture on her how she should go see her dad because "he's her dad" she didn't care about him one bit just like he never cared about her. It was that simple.

"You're as bad as the kids" Nikki looked down at Lorraine.

"What?" Lorraine looked up.

"On your phone.."

"Oh right, yeah" She said and put her phone back in her bag, ignoring Sonya.

"Is everything okay?"

"Just some bad news, well, when I say bad I don't mean that bad, I just mean, well, I don't know, just-"

Nikki cut her off, "Hey, don't worry, you don't have to tell me" she smiled.

"It's about my dad, we don't even speak but my sister, Sonya, wants to go visit him, he had an accident at work but I couldn't give two craps about him, he never cared about me, not ever." Lorraine turned away from the pupils as a silent tear fell down her delicate face.

"Hey, don't be upset" Nikki tilted Lorraine's head to look at her, "It's gonna be okay"

Lorraine looked at her, "I'm sorry about all this and being a bitch and everything, it's just, he stresses me out big time! And I feel like rubbish today, I just wanna go home and sleep, my stomach won't settle, I've been sick twice already" Lorraine sighed for the hundredth time.

She had a lot of decisions to make, she didn't know what to do with her life, she stood up and walk out the room, telling Nikki she wouldn't be long. She walked back up to the office to see Sonya.

"Oh, so you decided to come back then?" Sonya asked.

"Listen & don't even bother interrupting me, I told you earlier, I don't wanna see him, I don't care about him just like he doesn't care about me/us. I never wanna see him again, but you go if you want too but don't come crying to me when he turns you away because he doesn't care, he just doesn't care" Lorraine said her piece and walked out. She was done with her dad in her life, done.


	2. Two

For some reason Lorraine had found her self being dragged in to the hospital by Sonya because she didn't want to go on her own, she tried to put up a fight but Sonya did them puppy dog eyes and she couldn't let her sister fall by herself because she knew that once she went to visit their dad, he wouldn't be bothered in the slightest.

Lorraine stepped into her dads room and just stood in the corner whilst Sonya, who was carry a box of chocolates and some flowers, walked over to him and gave him a hug, her dad squeezed her back.

"Sonya, you came" He looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, I did. I brought Lorraine as well." Said Sonya, looking over and pointing at Lorraine who was looking down at her phone.

"Lorraine?" Lorraine looked up at her dad. "Come over here?" He smiled.

"No, I'm alright here thanks" Lorraine said and looked back down at her phone.

"Lorraine, come on, come say hi"

"Sonya, I said no. I told him the last time I saw him that I never wanted to see him again and I expect to have kept that promise, I'm gonna get a drink" Lorraine walked out before Sonya could even call her back.

"Sorry about that Dad, she'll come around"

"No, she's right, I never treated her with the respect she needed when she was a child" He sighed to himself, he thought back to when she was a child and realised what he did to Lorraine wasn't right. She deserved so much more than that but he couldn't turn back time, however hard he tried.

Lorraine was sat in the cafe just by the reception of the hospital, she was looking into her cup of coffee blankly when Sonya startled her.

"Alright then, let's go"

"Finally" Lorraine stood up, downed the rest of her coffee, grabbed her bag and phone and walked out.

Sonya stopped and Lorraine turned round but before she could speak Sonya did.

"What did he do to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Dad, what did he do? He said he should of respected you more, he said you hated him because of what he did to you, but he didn't tell me what he did, Lorraine, what did he do?"

"It doesn't matter, now come on, we need to get back to work, you have phone calls to answer and I have a school to run"

"Tell me Lorraine, for gods sake, you never tell me anything, since we were kids, you always kept stuff from me"

"I never told you things because I kept you safe, I was protecting you!"

"Protecting me from what Lorraine?!"

"Dad!"

Lorraine couldn't be dealing with a screaming row in front of everyone but Sonya wouldn't stop having a go, she wouldn't give up.

"Tell me Lorraine, I hate all these secrets, all these lies, ever since we were kids, why do you never talk to me?!"

"Dad's evil. He always has been. I was glad when he left. You were upset so I never told you."

"Told me what?"

"He got drunk. He lashed out. He used me like I was a punch bag to take his anger out on. You were always asleep and mum was always crying in her bed. I heard noises. So I went downstairs to see him but he lashed out. Now please, can we go back?" Lorraine started crying as she got into the car.

"I'm sorry Lorraine, I didn-"

"I never told you, don't be sorry. He was always sorry but it always happened. That's why when he left, I was happy, I was the happiest I'd be in a long time, I finally got to concentrate on my studies and became what I am now." Lorraine started the car and they just sat in silence whilst driving back to school.

It was only1:30pm by the time they got back to work, Lorraine headed back to the PRU to see Nikki who was still eating her lunch waiting for the kids to come back in from their break.

"How was it?" Nikki asked.

"Awful" Lorraine cried as her head in the table.

"What happened?"

"Me and Sonya had the blazing row in the middle of the hospital, she made me tell her exactly what father deary did in front of everyone and now she's finally understanding why I hate him so much, he's such a horrible dad." Lorraine muffled from under her arms.

Nikki sat down next to Lorraine and put her arm around her, "You've got me" She smiled, "I'm a friend who you can always rely on, that's a promise" Nikki said giving Lorraine a playful nudge unaware that Lorraine was softly crying.

"Sorry" Lorraine muffled, again.

"For what?"

"Unloading all this on you" Lorraine lifted her head, soft tears falling from her eyes.

"Hey, what have I told you about crying? You're too beautiful to cry" Nikki smiled at her.

"I'm not beautiful" Lorraine turned away.

"You are to me" Nikki smiled again. "Do you want a hug?"

Lorraine looked at Nikki, she was crying so much and decided would take Nikki up on her offer of that hug.

"Yes please"

Just as Lorraine said yes, Nikki shuffled closer to Lorraine and she put her arms around her whilst Lorraine snuggled into her shoulder and started to cry harder, Nikki held her whilst she cried, not knowing why she was crying and not pressuring Lorraine into telling her. She just sat holding Lorraine.

"Thank you" Lorrained said, still snuggled into Nikki. Lorraine thought to herself how amazing her hugs are but she still couldn't help but think about how Sonya was feeling, she unloaded all this on her sister, not giving her enough time to process it, she needed to go up and see her but she was too busy crying, she didn't want to stop hugging because this is the hug that she had been needing for a long time, she never felt this way before, someone hugging her for so long but never getting bored, she didn't even think about how Nikki was feeling, she just saw Nikki as a friend in need, a shoulder to cry on, a personal would be there no matter what, now all she needed to do was not mess up this friendship like she was good at, she hardly had any real friends, she always managed to lose them or they'd get bored of her working all the time. She had this big house, with her flashy car and all her gadgets. But she was always alone, she was always lonely and she didn't want to be lonely anymore.


	3. Three

It was a few days after Lorraine has cried into Nikki's shoulder, they carried on as normal but Nikki couldn't hold in her feelings for much longer, she wanted to tell Lorraine how she felt but she was scared to lose such an incredible friend, she loved Lorraine as a friend but also she had feelings that were creeping up on her, feelings she never thought she'd feel for Lorraine, she felt feelings of love, overwhelming love, she loved her and she just couldn't deny it anymore. She wanted Lorraine more than anything but she knew if she expressed it to her she would run away and she'd lose her friend and she couldn't risk losing her as a friend, so she bottled it up, for the time being.

"Lorraine" Nikki said as she was walking into the office to greet her.

"Hi, what's up?" Lorraine smiled. The smile that melted Nikki's heart.

"These list of names for PRU, I'm gonna gather up the pupils today and take them there, is that alright?"

"Of course, we need to train them up to get good grades" Lorraine smiled. "Anyways, look, I've gotta go, I've got this meeting just down the road in them offices, I'll be back for lunch" Lorraine touched Nikki on the shoulder as she walked out.

Wow. Nikki thought to herself. Was she really falling hard for Lorraine? She couldn't be, she knew nothing was ever going to come of it, she needed to push these feelings out of her mind. She needed to think of her as a friend and nothing more.

"Oh by the way" Lorraine walked back in and Nikki spun to greet her. Lorraine looked over at Nikki, mouth open ready to speak but her eyes met Nikki's and for a moment her heart skipped a beat, she was in a daze. As she came out of the daze she spoke. "Are you free for a drink later? After my meeting, like at 12:30pm or something? Just for half an hour, we can go to lunch as well if you haven't eaten by the time I get back" She smiled at Nikki who was just staring at Lorraine's mouth whilst she was speaking, she soon snapped out of her daydream.

"Yes. Of course. I'll be free. I'll.. I'll see you later then, yeah?" Nikki's words came out all mangled but Lorraine just laughed.

"Alright, I'll see you later" Lorraine was still laughing as she walked out the door. Her feelings all over the place, she didn't want to lead Nikki, wait, what was she saying? She's never been with a girl before, she's never even had feelings for a girl before, this was new, very strange, very new but for some reason, she liked this feeling, that feeling she got in her stomach, the butterflies, the sick feeling, was she really getting that-old-phrase _Love Sick_.

Back in the office Nikki was stood there in awe, what was happening? Did Lorraine really ask her out? Did she feel the same way? She had all these questions she wanted to ask but she didn't want to scare Lorraine away. She had to be suttle.

Lorraine was driving in her car up to her meeting, her big flashy sports car, her car was like her baby, she never scratched it or kept it dirty. She cleaned it regularly and always kept it good condition. She kept thinking to herself, eyes on the road and her mind going mad. She wondered what was going to happen between her and Nikki. Could something really blossom between them two? Could it really happen? Lorraine didn't know how to process this. Her heart skipped. Her head spun. Her feelings were all over the place and for a sudden there she didn't have her eyes on the road. She was driving down a quiet lane and by the time she had her eyes on the road again this other car came speeding round the corner, Lorraine wasn't even going at 20MPH, she slowed right down before the car came round the corner but the car didn't even attempt to slow down, Lorraine spun her steering wheel to dodge out the way and as she was doing so, the other car sped away and Lorraine hit her car into the lamp post. Everything went black.

Back at the school Nikki was teaching Barry, Rhiannon, Scout and others as well. Her head was also spinning. She couldn't believe her luck. Was she finally getting the girl of her dreams?

"Miss" Bary spoke.

"Yes, Barry?" Nikki answered, unhappy that he had interrupted her thoughts.

"What are we meant to do again?"

"Oh wow. 10 points to you for not listening."

"Alright Miss, I was only asking"

Nikki stepped towards Barry and started explaining all the he had to do but at the same time, she was always thinking about Lorraine, she thought by now that she'd be in her meeting, she couldn't wait to spend lunch with her even though the time now was only just turning 10am, she had to wait hours and she would. Just for Lorraine. But what Nikki didn't know was that Lorraine was wrapped around a lamp post in her car, head on the steering wheel and an ambulance crew trying to get her out.

The ambulance crew found Lorraine's phone which had fallen out of her bag and onto the floor in the back, the first number they came too was Nikki's, she was the last person that Lorraine had called so they decided to give that number a try.

Nikki's phone buzzed on her desk.

"Ooh, naughty miss, you shouldn't have your phone on whilst teaching" Barry told her.

"And you, shouldn't be so cheeky!" Nikki shouted as she walked across to grab her phone. It heart skipped at the sight of seeing Lorraine's name.

"Hello, you" Nikki said with a smile but the voice she heard next was a shocker.

"Hello, is this Nikki?" the man on the opposite end of the phone asked.

"Yes, this is her, is everything okay? Where's Lorraine?" Nikki asked, with panic starting to set in, she turned around so no one else could see her.

"Now, there's no need to worry but she's been in a car accident and-" Nikki stopped listening, her head was filled with worry, a car accident, was she okay? badly hurt? She snapped out and asked the man to repeat what he just said.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"She's been a car accident, she's just on her way to the hospital. We're calling you because you were the first name we came too."

"I'll be there right away"

"Okay, goodbye"

Nikki hung up the phone. Every emotion going through her. Worry. Fear. Sadness. She felt so strongly about Lorraine she prayed she was going to be okay.


	4. Four

Nikki rushed through the doors of the hospital and ran towards the reception desk, in a state of panic she struggled to get words out.

"Can you help, please, it's my, my friend, she was, she was brought in earlier, not even an hour ago, she was in a car accident, I need to know where she is!" Nikki spoke, her words not forming, she was in a state, she loved Lorraine and now she was scared she might never get the chance to tell her, to show her what she really means to her, she needed everything to be okay because then there wouldn't be a day that goes by when she wouldn't tell Lorraine how she really feels about her if she was alright. Even if Lorraine didn't want to hear it, she wouldn't care, she'd tell her everyday just what she means to her.

"Hello, calm down please, who is it you are looking for?" The woman at the reception desk asked calmly with a smile.

"Lorraine. Lorraine Donnegan. Please tell me you know where she is." The panic in her eyes just wouldn't leave, she felt sick with worry.

"Let me just look her up on the system, hold on"

It felt like a million stars had been born and died in the time it took the receptionist to find out where she was.

"Lorraine Donnegan was it?" She asked.

"Y-yes"

"She's just having a CT scan right now but she'll be on ward 6, bed 3, if you care to wait there and I'll tell the Nurse that you are waiting for her" she said with a smile.

"Thank you, thank you so much" Nikki said and rushed off to find the ward and bed number but when she got there no one was there, she tried not to let panic strike her again, she just had to wait.

A few moments later the Nurse came in with Lorraine in a wheelchair, looking fit as a fiddle despite the broken wrist and bandaged head.

"Oh thank god, you're alright?" Nikki asked and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah. I'm fine. What are you doing here?" Lorraine looked puzzled.

"They called me from the ambulance, from your phone, they told me everything, I just wanted to make sure you're okay"

"I'm fine, thank you" Lorraine couldn't hide her smile from her, she loved how concerned Nikki was about her. No one had ever been that concerned about her. Not even her mum or dad. She was grateful that she had found a friend in Nikki but she hoped for much more.

"Do you want me to go?" Nikki asked, hoping for the answer to be no. She was in luck.

"No, stay. Please. I could do with some company" Lorraine smiled as she took hold of Nikki's arm with her good hand and smiled up at her. "Couldn't help me out the wheelchair and into this bed could you?" Lorraine smiled again.

Nikki was surprised with how Lorraine said that, was she really feeling the same way?

"Of course" Nikki looked into her eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. All she wanted to do was run her hands through her hair and kiss them lips. Maybe one day, she hoped.

"Thank you" Lorraine said.

Nikki put one arm around Lorraine's waist and the other one holding her good arm as she heaved her up out of the chair, Lorraine also put her arm around Nikki's waist just to give her some extra balance. She made her way to her bed and sat down, with Nikki by her side.

"Thank you for coming to see me" Lorraine said as she was sat on the bed, looking into Nikki's eyes.

"Don't thank me, I was worried about you, it's what friends are for ey?"

There was that word again. Friends. They hated saying it. They both wished it could be so much more but they were both scared to admit there feelings, Lorraine more so because what she was feeling felt different to her, she never felt like this before, it was always boys at school that caught her attention, guys at Uni that made her weak. She had the odd boyfriends. The odd guy who made her feel special. "_She's my girl_" he would say to his friends at school whilst she was walking towards him. She had her fair share of "_he's the one_" and heartbreak from guys. But not girls. Never girls. She never had the slightest feeling towards girls, just friend feelings. But all that changed when she met Nikki. It was different. Her heart skipped. Her pulse became faster. But she wasn't sure if Nikki would feel the same way.

"So what happened?" Nikki asked, interrupting Lorraine's thoughts.

"I'm not sure. One minute I was driving down the street. Next minute this car comes zoomin' down the road. I wasn't sure what to do so I swerved and whilst I was at it, I hit a lamp post, trust me ey." Lorraine did a half-hearted laugh.

"But as long as you're okay, that's the main thing" Nikki said as she got her hand and swept away Lorraine's hair from her face, without realising it. "Sorry" she murmured before quickly moving her hand.

"It's alright" Lorraine smiled. "I'm glad you care about me, no ones ever stuck around long enough to care about me before. I always gave up on that idea." Lorraine looked down but Nikki took hold of her hand.

"I care" she smiled. "I'll always care about you, no matter what happens between us, whether we're friends or not. But here's hoping that we're friends for a long time, yeah?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah" Lorraine smiled and agreed.

The tension was unbelievable. Nikki and Lorraine both looking into each others eyes. Wanting to know if now was the right to make their move. Would it be too soon? Did Lorraine really want this? Nikki thought to herself. What if she knocks me back? What if she wants someone else and not some rich woman? Lorraine asked herself so many questions.

"What are you thinking about?" Lorraine asked Nikki.

"Not much" Nikki answered.

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

"Because do you know what I was thinking?" Lorraine asked, reaching towards Nikki's face with her good hand, sweeping away her hair and holding her hand in place on her cheek.

"What were you thinking?" Nikki asked, her heart skipping.

"What would it be like to kiss you" Lorraine admitted.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay"

"May I?"

"What?" Nikki was dazed, was this happening?

"Kiss you" Lorraine wondered why she was making the first move but she had too, she needed too.

"Yes" Nikki whispered.

Just as Nikki said that Lorraine moved in closer, shuffling forward on the bed. She moved her lips in closer, glancing up at Nikki's eyes but also keeping her eyes on her lips. This was it. Lorraine pressed her lips against Nikki's. They were so soft. Nikki wasted no time in reacting, she kissed Lorraine back, forcefully but softly. Running her hands down her back and slowly finding a comfortable place around Lorraine's waist, just balancing on her hips. The kiss seemed to last for a life time. They were happy. Both feeling the same and it happened. Lorraine ran her hand through Nikki's hair. As the kiss came to a natural end, Lorraine looked down and smiled. She did it. Nikki tilted her head up and looked her in the eyes and started to speak.

"Are you sure this is what you want? I don't want you make any rash decisions, I'll understand"

"Thank you. But I'm happy with you. I've never admitted this to myself. It might take some time to get used too, and I can't promise you everything is going to be easy but what I can promise is that I'll do everything I can to make this work. It's me and you. And I want it to stay like this. Nikki, I want you."

Nikki couldn't believe what she was hearing. She smiled at Lorraine.

"I want you too. Whatever it takes we're gonna make this last. We're gonna come over all the obstacles and be together. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. It's different. It feels natural. I feel like I'm on cloud 9 every time you walk into the room. My heart skips. I just want to kiss you without the whole caring about what we do. We're gonna do our best and I'm sure, whatever happens. We're gonna get through everything. Together." Nikki smiled.

"Are you done?" Lorraine teased.

"Yes, why?"

"Because I want you to shut up and kiss me, again." Lorraine smiled as she looked into Nikki's eyes.

"Try and stop me" Nikki smiled as her eyes met Lorraine's and they kissed again. The second time was heavenly. They both felt comfortable, with the curtain closed around them they fell onto the bed together, Nikki stopping to be careful that she didn't hurt Lorraine as her eyes met hers but Lorraine not giving a care in the world as she leaned up meet Nikki's lips once again and she pressed harder onto them.

Nikki was happy as the thought of Lorraine wanting her just as much as she wanted Lorraine. She couldn't quite believe it. She stared into Lorraine's eyes whilst they were kissing. Thinking to herself and smiling.

Nikki had finally got her girl.


	5. Five

_Hey guys, to everyone wondering, yes I am keeping this going, not finishing on 5 Chapters, I have so much in my mind for this and if you keep enjoying it, thank you but if you don't like where this is going then that's not my problem, haha! Thank you again. Hope you like the update. Emily, ox_

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Lorraine and Nikki kept their relationship on the down low. Lorraine had just returned back to work after a week of being away after her accident, she still had her arm in the cast but she was determined to continue.

"Hey" Nikki smiled as she came into the office, looking over at Lorraine.

"Hello, you" Lorraine smiled back.

"How are you?"

"I'm happy, and you?"

"Yeah, the same"

Nikki sat on the edge of the desk as Lorraine put her hand on her leg.

"I'm glad" Lorraine smiled.

They sat there for a while just smiling until Michael interrupted them.

"Nikki, I need you in the PRU today, all day, the cover teacher who was meant to be in there hasn't showed up. Can you get there now please" Michael asked.

Nikki looked over at Lorraine with the if-I-really-have-too look and smiled at her.

"Ill see you in a bit" oh how she longed to kiss them lips in public.

"Yes, you will" Lorraine smiled over at Nikki just as she was leaving the office.

"Oh Lorraine" Michael started to speak much to Lorraine's amusement.

"What is it?" Lorraine asked.

"Could you organise a class on 'drug awareness' for next week? It's to be held in the assembly room, we have to do it, the board decided we should do it for this school, we have a bad reputation apparently" Michael told Lorraine.

"Oh, you don't say" Lorraine said sarcastically.

"Don't be sarcy!" Michael snapped.

"Whatever. Look. I've gotta organise this assembly now so have fun without me" Lorraine walked off.

She ran into Barry on her way to the IT classroom to do some research.

"Barry? What are you doing out of class?"

"Oh Miss, I was just er, going to the toilet, not feeling too well you see" Barry smirked through his scouse accent.

"Oh right, well. Don't be too long, get back to class soon" Lorraine watched him as he walked off, really not believing a single word he just told her.

Lorraine made her way into the IT room and sat down by one of the computers.

"Drug addiction" she said out loud as she typed, what was she supposed to do? Or say? She didn't know the first thing about drugs or what they did to people. All she ever got in her life was disappointment and failure. She soon proved her family wrong but it was always there, niggling at the back of her head. She wanted to make her mum proud but she didn't even realise that she had a second daughter. She was ill and there she couldn't even visit her mum because she didn't know who she was, even when she told her, she still thought of her as an imposter. But she left it, forgot about it, moved on with her life.

As she was sitting on the computer she felt her stomach churn, it wasn't the love sick feeling she felt when she saw Nikki, it really was a sick feeling, a churning of her stomach, she felt like she was going to throw up, she stayed for a while just thinking if she sat there it'd go away, but it didn't. The churn got stronger, she grabbed her bag and ran to the toilet. She got there just in time and threw up all in the toilet. She thought what this could be. She hadn't eaten today so it couldn't be that, or it could be the fact that she hasn't eaten? Maybe her body was telling her that she needed food, yes, ofcourse that was it, she wanted to believe that, she did believe that. But there was always this feeling something wasn't right. She thought back to the night she found out about her dad. She went out and got so drunk that she couldn't remember a thing, but now it all came back to her. She got off, with this guy. She went back to his and well, what happens next is everyones guess. She thought back, she thought she just fell asleep at the guys house but she must of done more, right? No, it couldn't be, she couldn't be, could she?

She knew what she was thinking was stupid. It was so stupid. She was drunk but she wasn't stupid. She must of used protection. Lorraine may be rich but she wasn't one for forgetting, despite her hair colour.

Christine walked into the toilets to find Lorraine looking at herself in the mirror, her eyes stained with tears.

"Lorraine?"

"Christine, hi" Lorraine said as she wiped her eyes. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you were okay? You look like you've been crying?"

"Oh I'm fine. Just been sick but I'm alright"

"Are you sure?"

"I said I am alright!" Lorraine snapped.  
"I was just asking" Christine said as just walked towards to the cubicle.

"Sorry" Lorraine said.

"Don't worry about it" Christine smiled.

Lorraine stood there for a while. She put her hand on her stomach and left it there. She thought of both hands. On one hand, the idea of a baby wouldn't be ideal, she's never picture herself with a baby, and now everything happening with Nikki and her feelings. She didn't want to mess everything up. She was good at doing all that. She finally felt happy. She felt safe. She felt like she actually belonged somewhere with someone who would care about until the day she died. A baby would ruin this. Plus she never saw herself as a "mum" figure. She always thought she'd mess up her baby's life because that's what she thought she was, a screw up, a good for nothing nobody. But could she really get rid of a human life that might be growing inside her. She didn't even know who the dad was so that was another good reason not to go ahead with the maybe-pregnancy.

But on the other hand. Its a baby. A baby that might not have been conceived into a perfect family or a loving family. But it was still a baby. Could she really do that to something inside her? She thought of what Nikki would say. Could she raise the child with her? It's normal. Not how society sees it but two women can bring up a child. Two women can do that these days. It'll be loved. So loved. She didn't want to lose Nikki not that she had finally got her. Her feelings towards Nikki were too strong, she needed her.

All this thinking made her weak. She went out the bathroom and headed towards her car but then she saw Barry again, hanging around outside with a can of spray.

"Barry. What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Lorraine shouted over to him. All his friends scarpered off.

"Nothing miss. Nothing." He hid the spray in his pocket and walked back to class.

"Right. Don't let me catch you doing that again!" Lorraine shouted.

She got in her car and headed towards the chemist. She parked her car up and went into the shop. Walked towards the pregnancy tests, picked one up and payed for it.

She arrived back at the school, headed towards the toilets again, reached into a bag and took out the test. She was scared. Shaking. Could this be happening, now, just as she was finally happy. She knew her life was a mess but a baby would make everything go over the edge.

She did the test. She did it. But she couldn't bare to look at it. She looked up. Not down. Brushing her hair out of her face and trying to stop the tears but one slowly escaping and falling down her cheek. She braced herself, slowly looked down and prised her fingers open which were around the stick. She thought to herself, its now or never. With one quick move she looked down, stared at the stick.

"Oh my god"


	6. Six

_Hey guys, I've got a job so I won't be updating as regularly but on my days off I shall be making the most of sleeping and thinking of chapters to write up :) I hope you understand but it will be kept going smoothly and updated as soon as possible. I won't leave it too long like I leave my others but it won't be as much as I've been doing. Thank you. Enjoy the update! Lots of love, Emily ox_

* * *

So Lorraine had this secret. She didn't tell anyone. Was she pregnant or wasn't she? No one knew. She just got on with her life as usual and didn't say a thing. She didn't even tell Nikki. All the times she stayed over since she found out. It was never mentioned. Not once. It was just another secret. Even though Lorraine had promised Nikki this no-more-secrets pact but she couldn't tell anyone. She wanted to forget about it. She needed too. She was happy with Nikki and she couldn't have anything that damaged that. She just needed to think.

She rolled out of bed and clutched her stomach.

"For gods sake, not again" she sad to herself as she ran to the toilet. Nikki was going to be around any minute to take her to work but she only just managed to heave herself out of bed and start getting ready.

The doorbell rang, Lorraine moved from the toilet bowl to answer it.

"Morning!" Nikki beamed.

"Mornin'" Lorraine repeated as she left the door open for Nikki to let herself in.

"Are you okay?" She shouted as she walked through the door and into the kitchen to make herself a drink.

"Yeah. I'm fine" Lorraine said, bluntly as ever.

"Alright." Nikki agreed. "Would ya like a brew?"

"No thank you, I'm just going to hop in the shower, I won't be too long" Lorraine shouted back down the stairs.

"Want me to join you?" Nikki looked up, and winked at Lorraine.

Lorraine laughed and smiled down at Nikki.

"Maybe another time, yeah? I don't feel too good right now" she shouted again.

"Tell me where it hurts, I'll kiss it better" Nikki said, cutely.

Lorraine came downstairs after her shower just in her towel.

"Ooh la la" Nikki looked up from the sofa as Lorraine made her way to the kitchen.

"Stop it, you" Lorraine laughed.

Nikki stood up and followed Lorraine to the kitchen. She saw her put the kettle on and now made her move. She wrapped her arms tightly around Lorraine's waist and held them there whilst she snuggled her head into Lorraine's shoulder.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nikki asked again.

"Yeah. I'll be alright. I think it's just a bug going round." Lorraine turned to face Nikki and hugged her, tightly.

"I'll be fine now I've got you" she smiled, but that smile soon faded as she hugged Nikki. She had a secret which she was scared to tell.

"Me too" Nikki agreed. "Look, why don't you go get changed and I'll make sure your bag is packed ready, like the good girlfriend I am, because that's what we are, right?" Nikki winked with a cute smile.

"Of course, yes" Lorraine smiled back, she was so happy, her eyes lit up every time she saw her. She couldn't bare to lose her. She was so scared.

She made her way upstairs, got changed into her gorgeous size 8 navy blue dress and her 6inch Jimmy Choo's, she stood there, holding her stomach. She looked down and back up again. Realising that soon, if she ever decided what to do, she would be showing. She always petite and even he slightest bit of weight she ever gained showed very quickly. She had this big decision to make and she couldn't make it. She needed to tell Nikki but she kept putting it off every time it felt right.

They drove into the school together and Nikki made her way to English class whilst the PRU was being covered by a different teacher. Lorraine sat in her office and sighed.

"Ah, Lorraine"

"Yes, Michael?"

"How are you getting along with that drug awareness presentation? I was thinking we could show it today, after lunch, what do you think?"

"Um, yeah. It's nearly finished. I'll keep you updated" Lorraine answered.

She was telling the truth. It was nearly finished. She just had to end it then present it. It was the presenting bit that she hated. She felt sick already and just standing in front of everyone else would make her stomach churn even more.

"Let me know if you need any help" Michael shouted as he left the office and left Lorraine to get on with her paperwork.

"Will do" Lorraine half shouted back, not making any effort.

"Ugh, paper work" she thought to herself. "Sonya!" She shouted.

"Yeah, Lorraine" Sonya answered popping her head through the hatch.

"Couldn't get us some books from the library could ya? I got this awful stomach bug and I don't want it catching"

"Course I will"

Lorraine handed her sister a list of names without looking up at her.

"Thank you"

Nikki saw that Sonya had left and grabbed her chance to see Lorraine.

"Hey beautiful" Nikki walked in the office.

"Oh thank god, am I glad to see you!" Lorraine jumped up from her seat and flung her arms around Nikki, whilst Nikki gently placed her arms around her.

"Are you okay?"

"I am now I've got you in my arms"

"Aw babe. Me too. You're amazing"

"Nah, you're amazing."

"We could have this fight forever, you know that?"

"We could. But I'd always win"

"Maybe" Nikki teased.

"Oi!" Lorraine smiled.

She knew she had to tell her what was wrong but she didn't want to lose her, she never wanted too. She wanted to cry so much and just spill everything out but she knew it'd be too much. She'd wait till later.

"I have to get back to this presentation" Lorraine sighed as she hugged Nikki tighter, not wanting to let her go.

"Why can't we stay like this forever?" Nikki smiled whilst snuggling into Lorraine.

"I wish" Lorraine agreed. "Right, I better get back" she said as she struggled to let go of Nikki and sat back in her office chair.

Nikki also struggled to take her eyes off someone so beautiful as Lorraine.

"One more thing before I go back to my English class"

"Yeah" Lorraine looked up.

"You're so beautiful" Nikki smiled and walked out, leaving Lorraine to smile so much more. She was starting to admit it to herself. She watched as her gorgeous girlfriend walked out. She really thought that was starting to fall in love with Nikki. She was the first person she thought about and the last person she thought about. She needed her in her life but everything was a mess inside of her. She was scared but she knew that she was falling hard for Nikki. She knew she loved her. She just knew it.

Lorraine finally got her presentation done before the assembly which was due to start in 10 minutes. She made a quick dash to the toilet before she headed to her room full of children.

"Right. You lot. Settle down! This is a very important assembly" Lorraine said but she knew that her stoamch wouldn't last.

"Miss, are you alright? You look like you're gonna puke?" Rhiannon laughed.

Lorraine ignored her and started the presentation.

"Drug Awareness" She started. "Can you tell me why drugs are bad?"

No one said anything, apart from the odd comment from Barry.

"Alright..." Lorraine didn't know why she was bothereing.

She got on with the presentation, talking, asking questions, some people spoke about their experiences or families/friends ordeal with drugs.

"Right. Now we've got a short film about... ugh, you know, just play it" Lorraine walked out the room and sat down outside, shortly followed by Nikki.

"Babe?"

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't lie to you any longer. I need to tell you so many things. I have to tell you but I am so scared. I don't want to lose you now I've got you. Nikki, I need you but you're gonna hate me" Lorraine walked off crying but Nikki pulled her back.

"Tell me, I promise I won't hate you"

"You can't promise me that. You just can't" Lorraine's tears started to flow and they walked to Lorraine's office.

"We're safe in here, no ones gonna disturb us"

"I'm scared Nikki" she started to cry harder.

"Don't cry" Nikki edged to put her arms around Lorraine but she pushed her back.

"That night I got the phone call about my dad"

"But that was 6 weeks ago?"

"I went out drinking because I hated hearing his name. He hurt me like a father never should when I was younger. He hit me when he came home drunk. But this is not what I wanted to say. I wanted to say-" Lorraine paused and breathed, "I wanted to tell you that that evening, before any of these feeling about you shone through, I went back to this guys house and-" Nikki tried to speak but Lorraine didn't let her.

"Lorraine I-"

"Stop. Just let me tell you"

"Okay"

"I slept with that guy and now everything is a mess. I'm scared. I don't want to lose you, Nikki" Lorraine had finally admitted to herself that she loved Nikki and now she was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Why is it a mess? We werent togher, I forgive you but there's nothing to forgive. Lorraine I-" Lorraine cut her off again.

"But you don't understand Nikki" Lorraine's eyes stained black as she stared up to look at Nikki.

"What don't I understand" this time Nikki placing her hands on Lorraine's waist and letting her leave them there.

"Last week, I-" Lorraine breathed.

"Baby, it's okay"

"Will it be when I tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I'm pregnant"

Lorraine was convinced that Nikki would walk off, storm out but her hands gripped tighter around her waist and Lorraine placed hers around Nikki.

"And you thought I'd leave you? We weren't together. And can I please tell you something?"

"Okay" Lorraine said, snuggled into Nikki's shoulder.

"I love you" Nikki bravely said.

"Really?" Lorraine questioned.

"Yes"

"Good. Because I love you too" Lorraine finally admitted to Nikki her feelings.

She was still convinced Nikki was going to leave her.

"And before you say anything. I love you so much and together, we can get through anything. I will be here and what ever you decide I will back you 100%. You are my world. baby or no baby. We're stronger than ever" Nikki hugged Lorraine tight with the smile on her face that wouldn't fade. They loved each other and that's all that mattered. Love conquerors anything.


	7. Seven

Lorraine had a rough night. She was up most of it chucking her guts up but she let Nikki stay over night so she wasn't alone, going through this.

"Hey, come lie back down" Nikki called over as Lorraine made way back to bed.

"Are you sure you wanna put up with this?" Lorraine sighed, hanging her head in shame.

"I love you and that's all that matters" Nikki told Lorraine for the hundredth time since they admitted it to each other.

"I love you too, never forget that" Lorraine smiled.

"Never." Nikki smiled.

Lorraine sat back on the bed and held her stomach.

"As if there's actually something growing inside me. I've never seen myself as mum before. I always thought I'd be a shite mum. Get everything wrong. Do everything wrong.."

"You're gonna be the most perfect mum. That baby is so lucky already, look at you, you're beautiful, you're lovely, you're perfect."

"Stop it" Lorraine blushed and turned her head away.

"It's true" Nikki told her, turned her head back and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

They started to get ready for work, Lorraine could still just about fit in her gorgeous deep purple pencil dress. It was getting tight but she knew she had to wear it now before she was too fat. She still didn't know how a baby would affect her relationship with Nikki. She always thought it'd ruin them. It'd get too complicated but Nikki always reassured her that nothing could break them up.

"Lorraine. Have you been in the bathroom yet?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah, been and gone. I'm just getting changed now" Lorraine shouted back.

Nikki stepped in the bathroom and locked the door. She stood there for a while just thinking about how much she loved Lorraine and she would never leave her but she was now starting to think like Lorraine. Would a baby be too much?

She wanted to get these thoughts out of her head, she loved Lorraine, she didn't care that she was pregnant. She just hoped that everything would go smoothly and be alright.

"You ready?" Lorraine asked as Nikki came down the stairs.

"Always" Nikki winked.

"Oi, stop" Lorraine smiled back.

"Right, we off then?"

"Let's go"

Lorraine beeped open her car and got in, Nikki joined her in the other side, leaned over to kiss Lorraine and of course, she obliged.

"Come on then" Lorraine said as she started the car.

They made their way to work, the time now was 8:15am. After all the hurrying to get ready they were on time.

They got out the car and made their way to the staff room. Nikki grabbed Lorraine's hand but Lorraine quickly moved it away giving Nikki a look.

"Not in public, not just yet" Lorraine teased.

"Oh, I see" Nikki winked.

They arrived in the staff room. Nikki walked up to get a coffee whilst Lorraine sat down and got some rest before a hectic day of working. The staff room for Lorraine was too noisy so she decided to head for her office.

As she retreated to her office and sat in her big creamy chair, it was so comfy, she sunk back in it but before she could get any rest she heard her sisters squeaky voice.

"Lorraine! I thought I heard you come in."

"Oh. Sonya. Hi" Lorraine said.

"Are you okay? I haven't heard from you over the weekend and when you walked out of that class you was teaching I was wondering if you were okay?"

"I'm fine. Thank you" Lorraine smiled. "I just wanted to get some rest beforei have to get on with my work"

"Oh alright then" Sonya said and walked out the office.

Lorraine shut her eyes, placed her hand on her stomach and sighed. Did she really want a baby? That's all she ever thought about now. This baby. Yeah, she was rich. Yeah, she could give the baby everything it wanted and more and yeah, she was happy. But there was that feeling in her heart that it wasn't the right the thing to do but she knew that even if she didn't want it, she couldn't go through the trauma of an abortion. She couldn't do that. She wasn't that much of a bitch. She had to go through with it and what happens after that is anyones guess. She even thought about what if she lost the baby? Could she cope. Would she be able to get back to her day to day life? She had so many thoughts running through her head she thought it was about to explode. She needed to stop thinking the worst and just try and be happy about it. But she couldn't. She knew whatever happened, she'd have a heard time loving this baby.

Michael walked in the office and found Lorraine.

"Morning Lorraine!" Michael beamed.

"If you say so" Lorraine murmured back.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, wish everyone would stop asking me if I'm alright" Lorraine sighed.

"Sorry..." Michael said.

Lorraine sighed again.

Michael sat down in his chair and got on with sorting out his paper work.

"Oh Lorraine"

"What now?!" Lorraine said, lifting her head up off the table.

"We have a new pupil starting, she's very quiet, been through a lot, moved out of her last 2 schools for being bullied and teased and she's scared to start here because the same thing might happen again, we've reassured her that will keep an eye out for anything" Michael started to speak as Lorraine heaved herself up of the chair and walked over to take the notes from Michaels stretched out hand.

"Right. And you want me to show her round and give her, her timetable and show her round etc.."

"Yes"

"Michael. I'm not her babysitter"

"I told her that you would be the perfect person. You're kind. She needs a friendly face"

"If I have too"

"Yes, you do"

"Fine. What's her name?"

"Jenna. Jenna Stallion"

"Okay. Let me sort my desk out, get Sonya to tell me when she's here"

"She'll be here at 10am, just enough time for you to get yourself sorted, I don't want to sound rude but you don't seem alright, let me know if you want too-" Lorraine cut him off.

"I'll be fine. I'm alright!" Lorraine raised her voice as she stood up, walking to see Sonya.

"Sonya. When Jenna gets here let me know okay? I should be in my office but if I'm not just give me a bell and I'll come up, alright?"

"Yeah, okay then" Sonya squeaked.

"Good. Thanks"

Lorraine sat back down in her chair and slumped her head back on the table. She knew today was going to be a long day.


End file.
